Our Current Sleeping Arrangement

I have been getting a lot of Questions on instagram from other new moms wondering about our sleeping arrangements and I wanted to share the honest truth about our current situation.

I was very hesitant in wanting to share this because I know it is a sensitive topic and one that many have strong opinions about. But I began feeling a little bit of shame a few months ago when I hadn't been able to get him to sleep on his own, and I realized maybe other moms are feeling this way too so I wanted to share and let them know that our situation isn't what the textbooks say it should be - but it is what works best for us & our baby & they are not alone!! 

Dax is 18 weeks old and is currently sleeping in our room, & spending half of the night in our bed. He was sleeping great on his own for weeks in his bassinet, and even spending some nights in his crib. But after his last leap (4th leap in wonder weeks app) it has been IMPOSSIBLE to get him to sleep through the night in his bassinet. He was always waking for night feeds, but prior to that leap he slept for 4-6 hrs and would only wake up once. During the leap he was SUPER fussy and started waking up every 1-2 hours and wouldn't settle in his bassinet so I slept with him in my bed most nights, and now he always wants to sleep in bed with me from about 3am-9am. 

When I started looking into sleep training, I realized I was doing TONS of the things many books, resources & ppl say you 'shouldn't' do. For instance: 

1. Dax uses a pacifier to fall asleep- every time.
2. I will put it back in his mouth if he begins to fuss (sometimes multiple times) 
3. I sometimes rock, sing, snuggle & tickle his head to help him sleep.
4. When he wakes up at night and won't settle again, I pull him into our bed & sleep with him for the rest of the night(he sleeps best here).
5. I currently let him nap whenever he falls asleep or when I start to notice his tired cues. 
6. His 'bed time' is whenever he starts to show he is ready for bed- which is usually around 9pm. (He sleeps for 12 hrs a night & is still waking up for feeds). I have found he has found his own little schedule and it works ok for us currently! (If I was back at work full time I would likely be trying a lot harder to have him sleep through the night & have a more regimented nap schedule - but it isn't needed for us at this time). 

However all of these things are what work for us currently so I haven't tried too hard to remove any of the above . I am CONSTANTLY wondering about what is 'best' in regards to our sleep situation & schedule: If we should sleep train, implement a sleep schedule or a more regimented nighttime routine. Especially because I kept seeing other moms with with their babies sleeping on their own throughout the night & without night feeds, which made me question if I was doing something wrong & if everything I was doing was negatively impacting him in some way.... which only left me feeling anxious & stressed about my decisions. When I tried forcing Dax back into his bassinet/crib for the night it was hell & left me sleepless, stressed, frustrated & feeling helpless. 

So after lots of trial and error, I have realized that the 'best thing' to do is to just do what works best for me & my family. I have actually avoided doing too much googling and research in regards to how to raise my baby & have opted to wing this mom thing & just follow myintuition instead. I make most of my decisions based on how I feel & I do believe I have a strong intuition & I trust it!  For us, co-sleeping just felt right. We are ALL happier when we sleep in one bed because we all sleep better with less interruptions. I do still put him in his bassinet for his first sleep stretch, and try to get him in there for the next one - but if he continues to fuss I now just pull him into bed with me! 

And although so many people have told me I will regret sleeping with him as he gets older, Right now, I LOVE having him in our room & we all sleep better because of it. He is still feeding at least 1-3x per night, which makes it super convenient for night feeds, & I REALLY enjoy our morning snuggles & waking up to him beside me every morning. 

We have a king bed so there is lots of room. Daniel gets smooshed up on one side, I sleep in the middle and he sleeps on the outside With no pillows or blankets in his sleep sack. When he was younger he slept between us on an elevated mattress, but as he has gotten older I feel he is safer beside me only - because Daniel is a violent sleeper(Always throwing fists & punches around the bed), and he started moving more & I worried he would role off and get wedged between one of us. 

So although sleep training and getting babes in their own bed works for SO many moms - it hasn't worked for us just yet, and I haven't felt the need to try & sleep train just yet. & Instead of continuing to stress about this decision I have chosen to enjoy the precious snuggles &  accept that our night time routine isn't what the textbooks say it should be, but it's what feels right for me & is what works for our family at this time! & That is allll that matters ! 💕

CO-SLEEPING/BED SHARING FACTS

I was going to write out a bunch of cosleeping facts but figured you could read more from these well written articles below instead:

Kelly mom is GREAT & has a plethora of info about everything baby ! Check out this article about co-sleeping/bed sharing. 

This article has lots of great info in regards to Safe Co-Sleeping